Easy Steps to Recognize and Extinguish Unhealthy Mommy Guilt!
Written by Mari Wiwcharuk
Get rid of that annoying side kick, mommy guilt, by making positive changes, remembering your role as a mom, talking to good friends and remembering to forgive yourself.
It seems as a mother there are no shortages of things to feel guilty about, the glass of wine you had the day your baby was conceived, did you exercise enough or maybe too much, did you produce enough milk, did you buy the right kind of formula, just can’t seem to get on top of that laundry? The feeling of guilt can be helpful but becomes detrimental, stealing joy from your experiences, when you are always feeling like you are not enough.
How to Stop Mommy Guilt in it’s Tracks
In the article A Mother’s Guide to Dealing with Guilt written by Susie Cortright (editor of two “just for you” websites: http://www.bestselfhelp.com/, http://www.momscape.com/ Susie lists ways to combat this guilt condition.
- Re-examine your goals and priorities Leslie Spencer, founder and director of Home Based Working Moms, offers sound advice. "If your guilt involves not spending quality and quantity time with your children, then the issue should be taken seriously," she says. "Decide your goals and where they are falling short. If you work at home to spend more time with your children, you’ll have to address the issue of a growing business that requires more time or growing children who require more time. Don’t hesitate to hire outside help to help you accomplish your goals."
- Remember Your Role as a Parent It is our duty to set limits. "Understand that setting priorities, limits and boundaries...about time, money, gifts, etcetera, is part of being a parent, and requires no apologies or guilty feelings," she says. "Don’t let yourself be run or controlled by these emotions, especially when it’s in the best interest of your child to stick to the limits or priorities you’ve set."
- Learn from Your Mistakes Discuss the object of your guilt with people whose opinion you respect. Give yourself permission to make mistakes and vow to learn from them. Be honest and upfront with your children, if you determine you are at fault. Offer a sincere apology and explanation.
Now is the time to hire that babysitter/house cleaner, continue to make them make their beds (without feeling bad about it), admit your mistakes humbly with many apologies and enjoy coffee dates with your friends. Sounds like guilt free living…but what about that yummy piece of chocolate cake?
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